#25. Breaking Bad
Σεζόν 5, Επεισόδιο 9
Η δεύτερη (και τελευταία) αναφορά της σειράς στο Star Trek είναι και η μεγαλύτερη σε διάρκεια που έχω δει ποτέ, συμπεριλαμβανομένου ακόμη και του Big Bang Theory! Απίστευτη, προχωρούσε, προχωρούσε και δεν τελείωνε, κράτησε 2,5 ολόκληρα λεπτά! Πρόκειται για τον εξής διάλογο:
[Badger]
I'm not dead. I'm on the starship Enterprise, macking on Yeoman Rand, while the Andorian with the Disrupter's back on Talos Four or whatever.
[Skinny Pete]
What do you think all those sparkles and shit are?
[Badger]
The transporters are breaking you apart, man. Down to your molecules. They're making a copy. That dude who comes out on the other side, he's not you. He's a Color Xerox.
[Skinny Pete]
So you're telling me every time Kirk went into the transport, he was killing himself? So over the whole series, there was, like, 147 Kirks?
[Badger]
At least. Dude, yo, why do you think McCoy never likes to beam nowhere? 'Cause he's a doctor, bitch. Look it up.It's science. I ever tell you about my Star Trek script?
[Skinny Pete]
Star Trek script?
[Badger]
Yeah. I gotta write it down is all. The Enterprise is five parsecs out of Rigel 12. Nothing's going on, Neutral Zone is quiet, the crew is bored, so they put on a pie-eating contest. The whole crew's in the galley. They're eating tulaberry pies--
[Skinny Pete]
Tulaberry?
[Badger]
Tulaberries. From Gamma Quadrant, yo.
[Skinny Pete]
That's Voyager, dude.
[Badger]
Okay, blueberries then. They're eating blueberry pies as fast as the replicator can churn them out. Finally, it's down to just three, Kirk, Spock, and Chekov. Okay, Spock always wins these things.
[Skinny Pete]
How is Spock gonna beat Kirk, yo? Spock's like a toothbrush. Look at Kirk. He's got room to spare.
[Badger]
Spock has total vulcan control over his digestion. You wanna hear this or not?
[Skinny Pete]
Yeah, yeah, go.
[Badger]
Okay, finally, Kirk, he can't take it anymore. He yorks. Now it's just down to Chekov and Spock. But Chekov, you see, he's got a whole fat stack of Quatloos riding on this, and he has figured out a way to win. He's got Scotty back in the transporter room, locked in on Chekov's stomach. Every time Chekov eats a pie, Scotty beams it right out of him.
[Skinny Pete]
Where is he sending them? The toilet?
[Badger]
Space. There's blueberries just floating out there, frozen, because it's in space, and Chekov is just shoveling them into his mouth, and Spock's like, "I can't believe this Russian is defeating me." Meanwhile, Scotty's in the transporter room fiddling with levers, when Lieutenant Uhura comes in, and she's got, you know, her big pointies. And Scotty's fingers are all sweaty.
[Skinny Pete]
No.
[Badger]
Chekov screams. He sprays blood out of his mouth. Scotty beamed his guts into space!
[Skinny Pete]
No way!